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Caravan Chronicles

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Caravan Chronicles

Tag Archives: Travel Trailers

Things that make you go “Hmm”…UPDATE

11 Monday Feb 2013

Posted by Simon Barlow in General, Reviews

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Caravanning, Caravans, Jonic Bedding, Travel Trailer, Travel Trailers

I’ve just posted this as a update to the bottom of our review of the Jonic Bedding

UPDATE – 09:30 Monday 11th Feb.

After sending in my email on Saturday, I was going to follow it up with a call to Jonic. However they (Jonic) beat me to it!

I received a call this morning from the MD. She asked me about the condition of the box and said they had checked with the courier, who denied knowledge of the damage, but they would send out another mattress protector.  I then started to explain about the fitted sheet size problem and the fact we had the upgraded mattress as it was a ‘Celebration’ dealer special and she said it was possible that we had been sent a fitted sheet for a normal mattress, so she would arrange for the correct one to be sent along with the mattress protector and they should be with us tomorrow.

Now that is good customer service!

S

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Things that make you go “Hmm”…

09 Saturday Feb 2013

Posted by Simon Barlow in Camping & Caravan Show, General, Reviews

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Caravan, Caravanning, Caravans, Jonic Bedding, Travel Trailer, Travel Trailers

We decided while at the Manchester Caravan & Motorhome show to splash out on some fitted bedding for the caravan. Here is our review of it… Jonic Bedding – Review

S

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A little winter warmer…

03 Sunday Feb 2013

Posted by Simon Barlow in Caravan Servicing, Maintenance, Modifications, Projects

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Caravan, caravan roof vents, Caravanning, Caravans, Maintenance, Modifications, Rooflights, Travel Trailer, Travel Trailers

To help keep the dreaded damp at bay, caravan manufacturers make sure that there is always a good airflow through the caravan. In floor cupboards where there is any gas appliances installed, there have to be “gas drops” that allow any leaking gas to escape through the floor, they also install under floor vents in other lockers to encourage a flow of air to reduce any chances of condensation. Now it’s not much good if the vents are only in the floor, there has to be something at roof level as well.

A roof light with permanent ventilation and fly screen built in.

A roof light with permanent ventilation and fly screen built in.

The easiest way of achieving this is to use roof lights that have permanent ventilation built in. All UK built caravan will have one or two roof lights that have this feature. These vents use an effect long well-known to the little prairie dog in America. They dig a ‘U’ shaped burrow with two openings. Round one opening, they pile up the soil so it is higher than the other opening, When a gentle breeze blows across the two holes, because one opening is higher than the other it creates a pressure differential between the two and has the effect of moving the air through the burrow. This is exactly the same effect as a chimney on a fire-place. The caravan roof vents work in exactly the same manner, when a breeze blows, the pressure across the roof vent is slightly lower than the floor vents and has the effect of moving air through the caravan.

This is all good stuff and prevents stale air in the caravan and helps reduce condensation. However, at times we really don’t appreciate this, especially in winter. Our caravan has two of these vented roof lights, one in the bedroom area and the other in the rear bathroom. When we arrive on site, one of the first things we want to do is warm the van up to a temperature that is comfortable so I wanted to reduce the cold airflow through the van. I didn’t however want to block up any of the floor vents, so while cutting the plastic for the shelf fronts (see Caution contents may have moved ) I came up with this little do-hickey…..

4mm PVC sheet with a foam self adhesive sealing strip

4mm PVC sheet with a foam self adhesive sealing strip

It is cut out of 4mm thick clear acrylic sheet and to provide a seal to the top of the roof light I used a self adhesive 10mm wide foam strip available from B & Q.

To install the do-hickey all I have to do is open the fly screen and feed one end into the gap between the frame and roof light lift it up so that the foam strip contacts the top of the roof light and slide it back slightly so the other end rests on the other side of the frame.

My do-hickey in place

My do-hickey in place

In a quick test, I could warm the bathroom up to a useable temperature using just the blown air heating system in about half the time it took before in similar outside temperatures so I am hoping it will save a little on gas. I know that the electric towel rail we installed can just about keep it warm enough when its down to freezing outside, I’m hoping that this will allow it to be maintained at a slightly higher temperature in similar conditions.

I must stress though, we will only use this for warming the van up. When we have showers etc and when the van is in storage it will not be installed.

S

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Let there be light… part two

01 Friday Feb 2013

Posted by Simon Barlow in General, Maintenance, Modifications, Projects

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Caravan, Caravan Electrics, Caravanning, Caravans, Maintenance, Project, Travel Trailer, Travel Trailers

A bit of a dark corner

A bit of a dark corner

Illuminated with success installing the additional light above the cooker (see Let there be light…. or at least a bit more light!) there was another area that needed some light shed upon it. The corner adjacent to the main door of the caravan, where the drop down TV resides is, as we in the north of England call it “a bit dimpsey” ( a bit dark) This is evident when you have to get a torch out at night to see to adjust the controls for the water heater and blown air heating system. It would also be handy to be able to switch on a bit of light when entering the caravan in pitch blackness. I suspect that caravan designers don’t work at night therefore only ever see the requirement for illumination when ‘accent lights’ are needed to show off their latest feature. However, handily they had installed a light switch for the awning right next to the door so upgrading this to a twin switch would allow us to switch on the new light from outside and at least partially light the doorway while we got inside and turned on the other lighting.Caravan_Chronicles_100_3250 A bit of swift keyboard action soon had a twin switch ordered from Leisure Shop Direct soon had a replacement CBE twin switch on its way to us.

I sourced a suitable 12 volt 10 watt light from B & Q…. it’s intend to be a cabinet light run off a small transformer. The first step was to remove the existing switch from the fitting. CBE fittings are great in the fact they are so adaptable and easy to work on. A small flat blade screwdriver to pop off the front trim and remove two screws soon had the switch free to work on.

Cabinet light from B & Q

Cabinet light from B & Q

The next step was to install the light. This involved drilling a small hole for the cable to pass through into the space above the light where the cable could then be routed behind the 12 volt TV socket and Mains socket in the cupboard above. I needed to remove the existing 12 volt socket and aerial connections to get access to the duct that runs down to the cabinet that houses the heater. There are already a number of cables running down this route, so I guessed that there would be an easy way through. A large nut tied to a length of fine cord and lowered down easily found its way through and I could pull it through the switch opening. Tying the other end of the cord on to the wire from the light allowed me to pull the end of the cable through the switch opening.

The new twin switch with the awning cables and the new light cables installed

The new twin switch with the awning cables and the new light cables installed

It was a simple matter now to remove the old single switch from the mounting plate and pop in the new twin switch. I transferred the awning light wires over to the new switch. Next I crimped two spade terminals on to the wire and pushed these on the the connectors on the back of the second switch. I slid some heat shrink tube over the terminals of the new light to finish off with (not shown in photo).

Next, I now needed to pick up a 12 volt supply. As I’d just pulled the cable straight through from the light to the switch, I could break into the cable anywhere to supply power. The best place would be in the top cupboard and take a feed off the 12 volt TV socket. I used a couple of ‘piggy back’ spade connectors to make the connection and included an automotive ‘in line’ blade fuse holder with a 2 amp fuse on the positive lead. As the light was only 10 watts, the current would only be 0.8 to 0.9 amps, so a 2 amp fuse would be fine. The cable that came with the light fitting was rated at 5 amp so I don’t anticipate any safety issues. The only downside is it’s a bit of a fiddle to get to the fuse holder as you have to remove the 12 volt socket. Last job was to check everything with a multimeter before turning on the power.

Before....

Before….

After....

After….

To complete everything only took around 45 minutes and the whole project cost under £15. So now when we come back to the caravan in the dark, we can easily turn on the awning light and an interior light before entering the caravan…. and when in the middle of the night I am prompted by an elbow in the ribs to increase or decrease the heating I can simply turn on the light without dazzling.

When I first thought of this little project, I did start looking at LED fittings to save power for when we are just running on battery. As the light is only for occasional use, the power issue is not critical. The cost of a similar LED fitting would have been around £20 to £25 (at the time of writing) however, as this fitting uses a standard “G” type bulb. I can buy a replacement LED bulb for around £6, so in the near future, it will be a simple task to replace the bulb with a LED unit and it will still be less than a similar LED fitting. My friend Peter ( “Bailey Oklahoma” for those that follow the caravanning forums) has good contacts for LED replacement ‘bulbs’ for use in caravans.

Cheers

S

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“Caution – Contents may have moved”

27 Sunday Jan 2013

Posted by Simon Barlow in General, Maintenance, Modifications, Projects

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Caravanning, Caravans, Maintenance, Modifications, Travel Trailer, Travel Trailers

One of the annoying things about caravans is shelves can be marginally worse than overhead lockers on aircraft that have just flown through a thunderstorm. That is to say things fall out when you open the door. The cupboard in our bathroom is one such ‘disaster waiting to happen’ locker.

"Caution - contents may have moved"

“Caution – contents may have moved” (note – blurry picture to simulate turbulence!)

In an effort to reduce the carnage, Sue had resorted to lying most of the containers down – with the inherent leak risk for some items. This also had the effect of reducing the storage capacity of the shelves, not that we had mahoosive amounts to store as this was right at the back of the caravan on the rear wall.

After a bit of pondering, the solution was clear… clear 5mm thick lexan actually. I cut three pieces, two 315mm x 100mm and one 315mm x 75mm and slightly rounded the edges over using a file and finishing with a fine emery before flaming the edges.

To attach the lexan I used self adhesive velcro strips so that if we needed to remove the fronts at any point for cleaning they would simply pull away. Installing them was a simple matter of removing the velcro backing sheet and sliding the lexan pieces into the cupboard, lining them up and pulling them forward to stick the velcro to the inside of the cupboard fronts. A picture is worth a thousand words…..

The lexan panel in place and the shelf restocked

The lexan panel in place and the entire contents of the cupboard now on one shelf.

So hopefully now there won’t be any chance of things falling when we open the door or anything leaking because it’s fallen on its side. I had the lexan sheet left over from a previous project and it took about 30 minutes in the workshop to cut and edge the sheets and around five minutes to install in the cupboard. A worth while Sunday morning job methinks.

S

PS… here’s the other shelves finished….

All three shelves done.

All three shelves done.

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Let there be light… or at least a bit more light

22 Tuesday Jan 2013

Posted by Simon Barlow in General, Maintenance, Modifications, Projects

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Caravan, Caravan Electrics, Caravanning, Caravans, Lighting, Modifications, One Hairy Caravanner, Sterling Caravans, Swift Group, Travel Trailer, Travel Trailers

The original light fitted above the sink

The original light fitted above the sink

Generally the lighting in our Sterling Celebration 550 is, pardon the pun ‘spot on’. However, there isn’t anything that has been designed by one person that another thinks they can improve on it. This is the case with the lighting above the sink and hob. Swift had installed a single tube 8 watt fluorescent fitting above the sink unit which was fantastic at lighting the sink up, but trying to see into the depths of any pans on the hob was like peering into a bottomless pit and “One Hairy Caravanner  needed all the help he could get when cooking! It was time for an upgrade.

I had looked on line for suitable alternatives and had considered LED units. While at the Manchester Caravan and Motorhome show last week we looked at a few options for LED fittings, but nothing stood out as a suitable alternative that would cover the existing fixing holes and cable entry point.

A brief search came up with a suitable alternative offered by Maypole that was a twin tube unit that could be selectively switched between running one or both tubes using the inbuilt switch. It had an opaque diffuser and closely matched the existing fitting. As luck would have it was an item stocked by Go Outdoors and with our discount card it worked out to the same price I could buy it on-line.

Before starting, I identified the fuse supplying the light fitting and removed it. Although the caravan master switch was off, it’s always wise to remove the fuse as well… it just becomes habit to do this after a time anyway.

The first task was to drop the bottom panels from the cupboard units – two small screws for each panel and check out a suitable route for the wiring of the second unit. Swift had thoughtfully already machined a hole between the cupboard divider to allow the power cable for the microwave to pass through and even more helpful was the existing 12 volt power cable for the light was long enough to reach the location of the new fitting.

The new fitting screwed to the base panel. The old fitting in front.

The new fitting screwed to the base panel. The old fitting in front.

With the old fitting removed and the new fitting in place, I could start on installing the new fitting. I had checked before removing the panel above the hob that there would be enough clearance to open the glass lid of the hob without trapping fingers. I also wanted the light to be slightly forward so that it illuminated the depths of any pans on the front burners of the hob. With the position marked I could drill a small hole in the panel for the cable to pass through and mounted the light using four small self tapping pan head screws that matched the ones Swift had used on the original light.

Both light fittings attached to the panels with tubes and diffusers installed

Both light fittings attached to the panels with tubes and diffusers installed

All that remained now was to make the connections. The existing power lead was fed through the hole to the space above the hob. The original fitting had spade terminals crimped on to the leads that pushed into the connector fitted to the end of the existing wiring loom so for the fitting above the hob I crimped on two spade connectors.

Crimping on spade terminals

Crimping on spade terminals

Once these were done, I connected the light fitting and re-installed the panel above the hob unit. This gave me enough slack in the existing loom to install two crimp splices.

Two crimped splices.

Two crimped splices.

If you are splicing into cables, please don’t use IDC (Insulation Displacement Connection) connectors, commonly known as  “scotch-loc’s”…. they are not a reliable way of joining cables and can damage the original cable and in some cases reduce the current capacity of the original cable.

All that remained now was to re-install the panel above the sink, replace the fuse for the circuit and test out the fittings.

Let there be light.... or two in this case

Let there be light…. or two in this case

We now have the ability to switch one or two tubes on above the sink and above the hob unit, so now excuses for the “One Hairy Caravanner” to burn anything on the hob now!

S

PS… sorry about the photo quality, I forgot to take a camera and had to use my iPhone

Caravan Chronicles Shopping...

I have been asked where you can purchase some of the products featured above. Here are the links to the products in the Amazon store. If you click on the links and purchase the items, a few pennies will go to helping the cost of running CaravanChronicles.com

Selection of crimp terminals : Electrical / Wire Terminal / Crimp Set 360pc AST24

Ratchet Crimp Tool : Silverline PL55 Ratchet Crimping Tool, 215 mm

Heat Shrink Sleeve : Am-Tech Heat Shrink Wire Wrap Assortment (127 Pieces )

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Citric Acid Trip…

12 Saturday Jan 2013

Posted by Simon Barlow in De-scaling, General, Help Guides, Maintenance

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Caravans, Citric Acid, De-scaling, Maintenance, Travel Trailer, Travel Trailers

When we were at Lincoln in December, we had to de-scale the small electric kettle we have in the caravan. Having to de-scale things is something that for people living in the North West of England don’t normally have to do as our water here is very soft. However trips in the van to hard water areas, especially when we were in France meant we had the dreaded lime scale buildup. We managed to do the kettle while in Lincoln using some white wine vinegar we had, however, that gave us an indication that we would need to tackle possible lime scale buildup in the caravan’s water heater  which would affect the efficiency of the heater and eventually lead to its premature failure. Prevention is always better than cure!

IMG_0027So today was an acid trip… of sorts. I’d ordered 2Kg of citric acid over the internet from Meridianstar which arrived this morning. So we filled up three 25 litre containers of fresh water, loaded them into the Freelander and went off down to where we store the caravan. I mixed 1Kg of citric acid with 20 litres of water to give us a 5% solution.

We connected up the container to the caravan water inlet, shut the drain down valve and pumped the solution into the water system. We would need to leave this solution for about an hour, but to help speed it up we turned the water heater on. After 15 minutes I ran some water through all the taps into a jug and poured this back into the water container outside. We repeated this every ten minutes to ensure that all the solution had been pumped through all the pipes. After an hour, we turned the heater off and kept running the solution through another three of four times. It was now time to flush the system through by turning on the taps and letting it run through the sink drains to outside. When the container of solution was empty we replaced it with one of the 25 litre containers containing fresh water and pumped that through for a short while, letting it sit in all the pipes for 30 minutes. We continued pumping the fresh water through the system until the first container was empty. I connected up the next container and we repeated the process until another 25 litres had flushed through. As all the piping is PVC we were only really concerned about flushing through the hot water side and particularly the water heater.IMG_0026

Once all the fresh water had been pumped through, tasting the water told us it was fresh with no hint of citric acid. We then opened the drain taps to drain the system down. So now, hopefully the inside of the water heater is as clean and shiny as the kettle.

The guys at Meridianstar supply food grade citric acid in various sizes. We bought two 1Kg bags, so we have 1Kg spare for next time. Citric acid can be used to de-scale other food equipment… baby steralisers  etc. so we don’t have any worries about after taste or introducing chemicals into our water system. They were also pretty quick in delivering too, it arrived 48 hours after ordering.

Right, whats the next job on the list….

S

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Manchester Caravan and Motorhome Show 2013

09 Wednesday Jan 2013

Posted by Simon Barlow in Camping & Caravan Show, Events, Uncategorized

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Tags

2013, Camping And Caravan Show 2013, Caravanning, Caravans, Manchester, Towing, travel, Travel Trailers

Well we have downloaded our discount tickets (courtesy of one of the big clubs) and I’ve printed off a floor plan from the event web site… http://www.caravanshows.com/ and marked on where the exhibitors that I particularly want to drop in at are.

Caravan_Chronicles_Manchester_Camping_&_Caravanning_Show_2013-1

I have my list of things we need/want/desire and it doesn’t include a new caravan…. although …. no I must stick to the list Sue tells me. So we are, as the Americans say “good to go” on Thursday 17th… hope to see you there!

S

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My Caravanning Wish List for 2013

02 Wednesday Jan 2013

Posted by Simon Barlow in Blog updates, General, Maintenance, Modifications

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

AL-KO, Caravanning, Caravans, Insync, Modifications, Towing, Travel Trailer, Travel Trailers

Here is a few things I’d like to see for 2013….

Bathroom Vents

For caravans with bathrooms, why do they put the skylight in the middle of the bathroom and not in the shower cubicle? If you look at the majority of travel trailers and motor homes in the USA, they install the roof vent in the shower cubicle. A couple of reasons.. one it means that you don;t have to turn on the light in there when it’s daylight outside, but for me the key one is that any steam is allowed to vent out straight from the cubicle when the shower door is shut, rather than letting it drift into the bathroom and raising the humidity level to a point where over a period of time it could potentially start to affect the structure of the caravan. I also think that it would improve the chances of keeping the bathroom warmer in colder months as cold air would be drawn into the shower cubicle, so with the shower door shut it would reduce the cold air in the bathroom while still providing the required ventilation.

Brake Assist Systems

Currently in the UK there are three or four brake assist systems, one of the most popular is AL-KO’s ATC Trailer Control system. This is an excellent product, but for me it only goes part of the way and offer true braking assistance. There are other products  such as Insync’s offering that offer braking assistance but no active stability program.

I’d like to see a unit with a similar stability program to ATC, but with the added advantage that the caravan brakes are applied when the vehicles brake lights are activated. Currently the over-run system fitted to caravans only operates the caravan brakes when the braking force exceeds a certain deceleration rate and allows the damper in the coupling to compress operating the brakes. Now for any van this limit is going to change… fully loaded for a two-week trip abroad is going to have a different operating point than when talking the van empty for servicing as the towed mass of the van will be different.

AL-KO Overrun brake coupling

AL-KO Overrun brake coupling

However, if the braking system was activated by the tow vehicles brake light circuit, you could apply 50% or 60% of the caravans braking effect no matter what the loading almost instantly. This will also help in marginal conditions. On ice at 10 MPH while manoeuvring on site, the caravan brakes will never activate when you depress the brake pedal, you rely on the vehicle brakes to do all the work and the four patches of rubber have to be able to provide enough friction to stop the tow vehicle and the caravan. If the caravan’s brakes could be operated, then the four patches of rubber suddenly increase by 50% to six patches of rubber.

Oh if it were that simple! Any assistance with the braking effort of the caravan via other means will have an effect on the over run coupling. If you brake the caravan partially via a  brake assist unit then the point at which the overrun coupling can apply the brakes will change and it is possible that the break assist unit could stop the overrun coupling from working correctly in some braking circumstances. The big issue could be if you have a system fitted that reduces the designed braking effect of the manufacturers overrun coupling, in the event of an accident, could the insurer technically claim that the braking had been knowingly compromised?  I think that this is why AL-KO have a different system for Australia and New Zealand and with the exception of the UK and Europe the rest of the world ditched overrun systems a long time ago.

“All right at the back?”

Manufacturers have grasped on to the fact rear view cameras are becoming an essential safety feature… well at least in motor homes they have. Us poor caravanners have to find clever ways to install rear view cameras and run cables without making warranty voiding holes in our expensive investment. Now I know it’s easy for a manufacturer to install a system in a motor home as he’s in control of everything from camera to screen and all the spaghetti in-between  With a caravan its a bit different as the manufacturer only has one end of the puzzle to play with, but a bit of thought into the design and assembly of the back panel could make the difference. It would be easy to design into the mould a mounting point that could be used to mount a camera and a suitable bit of pvc tubing run down the inside or a moulded trim strip that can be popped out like a bit of trunking that would allow at some point in the future a couple of cables to be installed. So, to all the caravan manufacturers out there, here’s the challenge – are you going to be the first to lead the way?

And finally…..

A gadget for all female caravanners….. an extension tube and nozzle that plugs into the blown hot air system that allows it to be used as a hair dryer when there is no EHU or a low amp EHU.

S

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Like any project, ticking the small stuff off a list is the way to move forward even if it seems like sometimes you have ground to a halt. A bit lacking on photos…. I’m temporarily unsure of their location… pilot speak for I’ve lost them! I’ll correct that in due course. I built a new…

A Few Little Jobs Done…

It seems such a long time since I posted anything. Last time out with the Dreamseeker I noticed that the charging voltage when we were hooked up to the truck was only about 12.1 to 12.3 volts as measured in the Dreamseeker battery box. I know that the VW Amarok puts out 14.6 to 14.8…

Happy New Year…

Happy New Year to everyone, I hope you have a great touring year ahead. I’d like to take this opportunity to give you a bit of an update on my personal circumstances and a look forward to a couple of projects I’m planning to kick off our year. First… … A HUGE thank-you yo everyone…

Sutton-on-Sea In September

Just like to say a huge thank you to so many people that have commented or emailed me over my last post. It has cheered me up no end…. it really has. Enough to rattle this post off! We recently went back to Cherry Tree Springs at Sutton on Sea for an 7 day break.…

This Might Be My Last Post…

Not clickbait…. Three weeks ago Sue and I were cycling between 8 and 10 miles each morning to get a morning coffee. Arrived back home and…. well time stopped. I had received notice that my test sample for Bowel Cancer screening had come back positive. Two days later I underwent a colonoscopy procedure which didn’t…

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  1. Dave Hart's avatar
    Dave Hart on How to: Connect two batteries in parallelAugust 27, 2024

    brilliant and so well explained! Thank you, love your work!!

  2. Simon Barlow's avatar
    Simon Barlow on Caravan Road Lights – Basic Fault FindingAugust 25, 2024

    Please look at my very last post on the blog

  3. Martin's avatar
    Martin on Caravan Road Lights – Basic Fault FindingAugust 25, 2024

    martin here caravan lights worked fine for two stop overs I had then hooking up again for my third trip…

  4. Emmy’s Camper Travels's avatar
    Emmy’s Camper Travels on My last post….August 25, 2024

    I’m so sorry. My sincerest sympathies go to you and your wife Sue. Your ideas and advice have been so…

  5. Steve Walsh-Jones's avatar
    Steve Walsh-Jones on My last post….August 22, 2024

    very sorry to hear this. Your posts have been very informative and enlightening providing an in depth view on different…

  6. thetwinaxletouringscouser's avatar
    thetwinaxletouringscouser on My last post….August 22, 2024

    Good heavens above Simon I am ever sorry to hear of such devastating news for both you yourself and Sue.…

  7. Eileen's avatar
    Eileen on My last post….August 22, 2024

    Simon and Sue, thank you both for sharing your passion for caravans with us. The news is extremely sad, our…

  8. Philip Parkes's avatar
    Philip Parkes on My last post….August 22, 2024

    Simon. So sad to read you last post today. Our thoughts are with you and Sue at this time. Whilst…

  9. Philip Parkes's avatar
    Philip Parkes on My last post….August 22, 2024

    Simon. So sad reading your post today. Our thoughts are with you and Sue at this time.

  10. Philip Parkes's avatar
    Philip Parkes on My last post….August 22, 2024

    Simon our thoughts are with you and Sue.

  11. Luke Tarrant's avatar
    Luke Tarrant on My last post….August 22, 2024

    Very sorry to read this and my thoughts are with you both at this time.

  12. Alan Smith's avatar
    Alan Smith on My last post….August 22, 2024

    Dearest Simon. I have never met you, but I feel as though I have some (limited) knowledge of you and…

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