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You have seen the aircraft engineers reports on the internet….. well I thought I’d do a little rewriting and give you the caravan engineers reports instead. I hope you enjoy….. 

Customer : Gas makes a loud hissing noise when the cooker is on. 
Engineer : Gas told to stop doing snake impressions when cooking.
Customer : Water-pump makes an unbelievably loud noise.
Engineer : Water-pump noise reduced to a believable level. 
Customer : Locker door will not shut, even giving it a good slam doesn’t work
Engineer : Gave locker hatch a really good slam and it now shuts. Note: hinge is now broken.
Customer : Roof light makes a constant banging noise when towing.
Engineer : Advise customer to shut roof light before towing.
Customer : Nearly all the screws in the overhead locker doors are loose
Engineer : Nearly all the screws in the overhead locker doors tightened
Customer : Gas auto changeover regulator doesn’t work
Engineer : Advice customer a second gas cylinder should be fitted. 
Customer : Evidence of water leaking into gas locker.
Engineer : Evidence removed.
Customer : Unfamiliar noise coming from heater
Engineer : Heater run for 2 hours, noise now familiar.
Customer : Something loose under the caravan
Engineer : Something tightened under the caravan
Customer Comment: Handbrake causes the wheels to stick
Engineer Comment: That’s what the handbrake’s for.
Customer Comment: Evidence a mouse has been under the bed.
Engineer Comment: Evidence a cat has been on top of bed added.
Customer Comment: Suspected crack in front window
Engineer Comment: Suspect you’re right
Customer : No water coming out of the taps
Engineer : Water tank filled up
Customer : Battery charger hums
Engineer : Battery charger reprogrammed with the lyrics



PS… if you cut and past… please leave a link to caravanchronicles.com